"MetaGagement-HR" with Dr. Lyman Montgomery and Anne Scottlin, MA, CPC

Overcoming Objections and Building Resilience with Dr. Lyman Montgomery: A MetaMindset Approach to Negotiation and Growth

March 12, 2024 Lyman Montgomery, PhD and Anne Scottlin
Overcoming Objections and Building Resilience with Dr. Lyman Montgomery: A MetaMindset Approach to Negotiation and Growth
"MetaGagement-HR" with Dr. Lyman Montgomery and Anne Scottlin, MA, CPC
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"MetaGagement-HR" with Dr. Lyman Montgomery and Anne Scottlin, MA, CPC
Overcoming Objections and Building Resilience with Dr. Lyman Montgomery: A MetaMindset Approach to Negotiation and Growth
Mar 12, 2024
Lyman Montgomery, PhD and Anne Scottlin

Ever been knocked back in a negotiation or felt the sting when your personal quirks didn't jive with someone else's vibe? Our latest episode, featuring the insightful Dr. Lyman Montgomery, promises to arm you with the tactics to not only bounce back from these setbacks but to turn them into opportunities for growth. We get real about resilience, sharing stories and strategies from the cutting-edge MetaMindset approach that blend neuroscience and business savvy to help you sidestep mental roadblocks and amplify your success.

In the high-stakes dance of sales, we take you through a masterclass on aligning what you're offering with the heartbeat of your client's values, transforming features into irresistible benefits. Dr. Montgomery and I dissect objections you're likely to encounter and reveal how to employ neuromirroring – a technique that addresses pushbacks with finesse, not force. And for those moments when the objections get personal, we share a laugh over our own experiences and discuss how embracing adaptability and self-awareness can smooth over even the prickliest of clashes.

Wrapping things up, we tackle the elephant in the room: those tricky conversations that can escalate faster than you can say "taboo topics." From establishing healthy boundaries to employing a 'meta mindset' when navigating challenging relationships, our candid discussion serves up wisdom on the transformative power of kindness and the elegance of handling rejection with grace. Join us as we crack the code on not just overcoming objections, but on building connections that are as authentic as they are meaningful.

Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Ever been knocked back in a negotiation or felt the sting when your personal quirks didn't jive with someone else's vibe? Our latest episode, featuring the insightful Dr. Lyman Montgomery, promises to arm you with the tactics to not only bounce back from these setbacks but to turn them into opportunities for growth. We get real about resilience, sharing stories and strategies from the cutting-edge MetaMindset approach that blend neuroscience and business savvy to help you sidestep mental roadblocks and amplify your success.

In the high-stakes dance of sales, we take you through a masterclass on aligning what you're offering with the heartbeat of your client's values, transforming features into irresistible benefits. Dr. Montgomery and I dissect objections you're likely to encounter and reveal how to employ neuromirroring – a technique that addresses pushbacks with finesse, not force. And for those moments when the objections get personal, we share a laugh over our own experiences and discuss how embracing adaptability and self-awareness can smooth over even the prickliest of clashes.

Wrapping things up, we tackle the elephant in the room: those tricky conversations that can escalate faster than you can say "taboo topics." From establishing healthy boundaries to employing a 'meta mindset' when navigating challenging relationships, our candid discussion serves up wisdom on the transformative power of kindness and the elegance of handling rejection with grace. Join us as we crack the code on not just overcoming objections, but on building connections that are as authentic as they are meaningful.

Speaker 1:

I have the example for you. This is for real life. I'm sorry. You were the best candidate for this acting role, but you remind the director of his ex-wife.

Speaker 2:

There you go. What do I have to do with? I don't even know who she is, but I have to foot the bill because I sound, remind or did something that was a trigger for that person, that now they hold it against me and all I did was show up and be my authentic self. I've had that happen. So you know, Lyman, we would work with you. But my partner says, man, you just remind him too much of an uncle that he didn't like, because you're always smiling, You're a big guy and I'm like, but I'm not his uncle. I don't even know his uncle.

Speaker 3:

Unleash your potential with MetaMindstream Disrupting possibilities. Unleash your potential with MetaMindstream disrupting possibilities. Dive into the fusion of positive neuroscience and business strategies with Anne Scotland and Dr Lyman Montgomery. Break free from limiting beliefs, expand extraordinary lives and boost business profitability.

Speaker 1:

Welcome. Welcome back to MetaMindstream. Hello, lyman, my good man. Hello, how are you doing? I am great I've been traveling, but I'm actually home, which is great for a change. Sleep in your own bed, there's nothing quite like it.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely Appreciate that. Yes, nothing like sleeping in your own bed.

Speaker 1:

No way. So all of you, welcome back to MetaMindstream, where we are disrupting what's possible. And this is part, an extension of our company-focused MetaMindset, where we help you with profitability, but we make it simplified, and we do that by combining principles of positive neuroscience with actionable business strategies. So our purpose of this show is to help you overcome all your challenges around mental aspects that are preventing you or hampering you from making those practical applications in your business. It's very much a dual process, right, lyman?

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. You know, one of the things that we definitely enjoy doing on this podcast is sharing both not just business tips, but also lifestyle tips that you can walk away and, yes, you can feed your bottom line but also feed yourself.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely yes, and sometimes those lifestyle tips even become fun and controversial. We talk about things that aren't always PC we're not R-rated or anything, but we will talk about taboo subjects as well as every day. So the second half of our show is always the life and lifestyle segment, so we're looking forward to that too. So today, our topic for the business segment is leveraging metamindset for overcoming objections. Tell us a little more about that, lyman.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'm excited about this one and you know we'll talk about four common types of objections. Whether you're selling a product or service, on negotiating a contract, there tends to be four common obstacles or objections that come up, so this will be a fun segment.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think so too. And then, once we talk about those practical applications in business, we're going to turn a moment to the other part of business, the meta mindset part. We're going to talk a little bit about neuromirroring and what that means to overcoming objections without gross manipulation. So that's going to give us some fun stuff to talk about. But first we're going to go to our quick, very quick commercial break and we'll be right back to give you more actionable steps.

Speaker 4:

Unleash the power of strategic neuroscience with Focused Meta Mindset Inc. Boost your decision-making, sales, sustainable growth and customer engagement. Scan the QR code now for an exclusive consultation. Elevate your profitability with Focused Meta Mindset Inc.

Speaker 1:

Hi, welcome back to Meta Mindstream. I'm Anne Scotland here with Dr Lyman Montgomery. Hi, welcome back to Meta Mindstream. I'm Anne Scotland here with Dr Lyman Montgomery. So, lyman, we're talking about now actionable steps that our listeners and viewers can take using a meta mindset to help overcome objections. What are some steps we can take?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you know there are four common objections that you deal with, like I said before, whether it's business negotiation, even in relationships. Okay, and let me ask you this question Ann, as a you know international bestselling author, life coach, business coach, I'm sure you've had an individual that you've made yourself pitch and they kind of look at you and say, well, I don't know, the cost is kind of high, right? I'm sure you've had that happen, right?

Speaker 1:

Oh yes, there's always some kind of objection from a lot of people.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and so what I've found is, when a person has an issue with the cost or an investment, what they're really objecting to is not the cost.

Speaker 1:

however, they're wondering if the cost is in alignment with what they value I was going to say the cost is in alignment with the value, because if they think it's valuable enough, this is a good question. I'm just going to throw this in here for you. I'm in right here. So what is one of the things you know, when we're overcoming objections in sales, how can we help them see the cost benefit? How can we establish the benefit ratio to really help them understand and say I'll pay anything, I have to have it?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely. It's being able to connect that product or service with what they hold dear or what they value intrinsically. And so a good example, ann, would be if I know, for example, that you value freedom, then I should spend my time talking about the benefits of freedom and less about the features of the product it comes in blue, yellow, green and really talk about what will this product do or what will this service do to give you more freedom. So I may ask a question like this how much time do you enjoy spending traveling with your partner?

Speaker 1:

A lot of time. As much as possible.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely so what if I could show you a way that you can spend, on average, two to three hours a day working on your business and enjoy maximum amount of time away from your business and yet watch your revenue increase, as opposed to spending 20 hours in your business or on your business and only having two or three hours to try to cram in life. And so it's about.

Speaker 1:

I would have said years ago, I would have said that sounds too good to be true.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely so. Now I begin to walk you through the steps. So I now have to create a scenario with you and you are able to see. So I may ask another question, for example, Ann, as we continue this sort of dialogue, I might say Ann, how much time are you currently spending in your business, working on average?

Speaker 1:

On average probably 40 plus hours a week.

Speaker 2:

Okay, and what if we could cut that down to only four hours a week and yet get the same or maximize your productivity? Would that be something that's of value to you? Yes and yes.

Speaker 1:

I would do anything to make that happen.

Speaker 2:

Okay, this is how we can make that happen, ann. We have a course designed and you kind of talk about again the benefit of the benefit, and so you eliminate the cost. And now notice, I'm making this all about you. I'm having a conversation rather than a lecture, and rather than me telling you, I'm asking you questions. I'm getting feedback and, based on the feedback, it allows me to now reposition the product based on what you value, not what I value.

Speaker 1:

So, instead of need, it's about making it feel natural.

Speaker 2:

Making it feel natural. Exactly it's about. There's three things that people love. Okay, number one convenience. You know, if you think about all the different food services that came into existence during the pandemic, they add this little fee, called a convenience fee, that allows you to stay home, do what you're doing and you can order and they will deliver. Rain, snow, sleet or shine, they will deliver, but you pay a little extra for that. People also will invest in things that are in alignment with what they hold to be true, what they value and what they see as something that will benefit them long term. Very few people will buy something that's only short term live like fad diets. Now they may start out, but then after a while they say you know what I've tried these different fad diets? They don't work. I need something more sustainable.

Speaker 1:

And that's a good to what's natural. Yes, that's a good point too, because I little more wary when you're having this conversation. Like listen, I've tried three different services. I felt like it was a total waste of time and money. I'm not investing in that again, but if you know that your product will literally blow them away, if you're willing to provide you know the numbers to prove it as you go that your product or service is working, how do you bring that into the conversation?

Speaker 2:

You know, sometimes, ann, it's about how comfortable are they with the person that's presenting the product and or service, Because in reality, it's not so much about the product or service as much as it is about the person. And if there's a connection, if we don't have a connection, I don't care how great the product, I don't trust you. The product might work, but I don't trust you as the presenter or quote. You know, some people take the position well, I'm just the male person as opposed to saying listen, and this is where you bring in social proof. So part of that presentation might be the four common objection, you know cost, authorization, need and time. So within that story, you might have social proof.

Speaker 2:

That goes something like this and I might say you know, and when it comes to, let's say, not having being in a position to make the decision and that's normally something that your partner, john, does, all right, you know, emily felt the same way, and so what worked for Emily was let's have a conversation with all the decision makers in the room, because you're going to hear something different than what the other person. So it's best, would you agree? And then you kind of not. Yes, yes, would you agree? It's better to have everyone getting the same information at the same time. So now John can ask questions and you don't have to serve sort of as the filter and oh God, what did?

Speaker 2:

What did he say? I think he meant this and sort of do the back and forth dance. So and that's something that you could do is is number one reassure them, bringing the right people into the room to have a conversation. Another thing that works great, ann, is asking them what are the two most important things for them to get them to a yes, and notice it's different. A lot of times people say, well, what will it take for you? Well, it's not about that. It's really about asking them what do they value? And to get them to that yes is you want to find out what do you value in, because the answer might be no.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, right, no, it's true, but that is so true. And again, this is sales that are having a more intentional conversation. More listening, conversation, more listening. I know that I noticed, you know, over the years, when I bring up the objections, before they do, it takes them a little by surprise, because you end up solving it for them before they've had a chance to.

Speaker 1:

You can see it building up behind their eyes like they're gonna burst out and say XYZ, like. So some people have had you know. Say to me, well, burst out and say X, y Z, like so some people have had you know. Say to me, well, x, y Z. And what I respond to them is and you tell them and they're like oh yeah, so I think, as we often talk about in sales is getting, is that you know three yeses or yeah.

Speaker 2:

The other part of that and it's a good point is making sure that if you're presenting information, you have to believe yourself that this will actually work. It's sort of like if I'm a car salesperson, let's say I'm selling Bentleys, but I'm driving a Toyota, something's wrong with this picture, and so a lot of times, what we do when we talk to clients is before you position a product, have you, number one, used it? If they ask you, well, how's this work for you? Oh well, you know, I just don't use that junk.

Speaker 1:

It's a disaster waiting to happen. And let's take it to the next step as well, bringing into the conversation that we're already having and all those elements, neuromirroring, with a metamindset. What does that mean to this greater conversation? So if you had to describe neuromirroring to someone who never heard about it, how might you describe it?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I would describe it as this Whatever energy that person shows up with, you want to not just mirror it. Let's say they're in a low energy state. So you don't want to drop to a low energy state, you want to recognize it. A good example we were on a call with someone, remember. There was an entertainment business and I said to them you must have had a really hard day because your energy has kind of dropped and let's kind of pick it up. And so you kind of move them.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, you know, I've been up since six or seven and I've been going straight and meetings after meetings.

Speaker 2:

So you acknowledge it, but then you try to raise them up out and you do that and you're excellent at this and with humor, you know you might say something or you might make a connection. So you know, oh gee, I remember when I was in Hollywood and I was on a set shooting a movie and, man, it seemed like we would never get through it. So that to me is mirroring, using empathy, really, that I can relate to what you're feeling, but let's not stay there. Relate to what you're feeling, but let's not stay there. Let's take you on a journey to get you out of that low energy state to a higher energy state. To me, that's what mirroring is that you recognize it, but then you also infuse a story and you're, like I said, you're probably the best I've seen do this and, um, we're sharing your own personal story of being in Hollywood as an actress or even as a coach, or just working as a life coach or a business coach.

Speaker 1:

Right? No, it's true, and it's not that difficult because I think you know part of the mirroring is, you know, if you get on a call or you're in a meeting with someone and you feel like maybe you're naturally a very quick speaker.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

Maybe they're a very naturally a slow speaker, so it's up to you to dial that in. So I am often way too fast of a speaker, so I have to make a very mental, conscious choice to slow my speed down by half, which is probably closer to what the average person is saying. So first of all, I can take that action. And then the second thing is, a lot of times when people are on in a meeting with you and they know it's quote unquote, a sales meeting, they're also going to be a little more reserved, a little more holding back. So, finding those commonalities, getting them, like you said, telling a story or telling a joke, getting them to laugh, something that really relates to them, like what they really love in their life, well, you know I like dogs, lyman, right.

Speaker 1:

So if you say to someone you can test it, right, it's like a litmus test. You can say, oh my gosh. Sometimes when I'm tired, the only thing that gets my energy back is when my three dogs jump on top of me and they start licking and barking and they'll be like oh my gosh, I love my dog. Instantly boom a commonality. Sometimes you have to suggest it to draw people out of their shell.

Speaker 2:

A little bit. Great point. Great point, you know, when you were talking I was thinking about earlier. I was on a call with a client and she's in the process of writing a book and there's just one character that she affectionately called Cornbread, who's like the town, drunk right. It's an urban tale and it immediately took me back to my childhood of these three old men they were kind of like the city winos that sat on the stoop and it was right next to a liquor store and they would always pass in a bottle, but they would always give good advice Like, hey, don't be like us, you know we done wasted our lives. Y'all stay in school. Hey, by the way, go get me a brick, you know, with some liquor or something. And so just that rapport of her sharing the story of this character, cornbread, which took me back to my childhood instant rapport, based on something that was very minute, that she mentioned in passing, about developing this character that she affectionately called cornbread.

Speaker 1:

And this brings me to that in full agreement with what you're saying, this is what I call neuro listening, because we talk a lot on this show about the listening element in your business and neuro listening, though, is looking for those little clues Like my example before is I suggest something as a litmus test to see if they'll respond Like? They just seem like a cat person or dog person.

Speaker 1:

I can't prove it, but I can kind of throw something out and see how they respond, right. And the other thing is looking for something in their conversation that perks up something in you, because anytime you can have start having fun, it stops being sales and it starts being personal and interesting. But that's.

Speaker 1:

It takes neuro listening before you can neuro unless you have had, plus having you know, practicing it over the years, it gets easier and easier, where it almost becomes intuitive for some people yeah, the other day I was on a call with a potential client.

Speaker 2:

I was just basically listening, active listening, I was mirroring and I was probably just sharing the process of what I do and she said oh my God, sign me up. I didn't even give myself a pitch, nothing, I was just telling her what I had done with some other clients and literally 15 minutes in, she's like oh my God, sign me up. What did I sign up? I need to work with you and that's exactly what you're talking about, ann. And sometimes a person is ready to sign up, but we are so married to the script they're like well, wait a minute, I got to finish my 10 points, oh, that's the worst?

Speaker 1:

No, it's the worst. Then, losing all of that natural and the other thing, of course, which we talk about all the time and is obvious here, but in any sales, it's creating the relationship right, because you don't always have to make the sale on the first day. There's pros and cons in every situation. When you read it, you read the room, whatever that is, but finding that commonality. Well, time is flying. We have to take our second break real quick, so stick around with us. We're going to go into next, our lifestyle segment, and talk a little bit more about handling objections in life and in particular objections to I told you we get kind of controversial sometimes your personality or identity.

Speaker 1:

How do you handle that in real life? So stick with us.

Speaker 5:

We'll be right back.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 5:

Unleash the power of focused metamindset lunch and learn sessions. Unleash the power of focused metamindset lunch and learn sessions. Sharpen problem-solving skills, spark innovation, foster collaboration and build adaptability and resilience. Elevate your team's success and profits. Discover more at wwwfocusedmetamindsetcom.

Speaker 1:

Welcome back to MetaMindstream. With myself, anne Scotland and Dr Lyman Montgomery, we've spent the first segment of our show today talking about actionable business steps you can take using MetaMindset to overcome objections in sales and anywhere in your business. And now we've moved on to our life segment and we're going to continue this conversation about objections, but this time we're going to talk about overcoming objections to someone else's, objections to your personality or identity. So I have a variety of objections that I experienced in my life and I'm saying this with humor because it isn't life-threatening or serious but one of the objections I used to absolutely hate in Hollywood was when I was younger. They would say, oh, she's blonde, we'll cast her as the dumb blonde, and it would just and I would talk to look at my agent or my manager and just think, what can they not see? So I had to pitch myself. You know why, like I promise you, I can look like the librarian, I can do a show with zero makeup. And I did have to do things like that in order to land the role, because they would just see me and have that quick personal judgment. Or I don't want to work with them, you know. So that's one example, or I don't want to work with them, you know. So that's one example.

Speaker 1:

Another example is something we touched on a little earlier, which is just my loquacious personality. So talking a lot and being blonde, I will go out in the world and I'm kind of like a golden retriever. I literally just like love everybody and but other people and I will, since we're not mincing words. Often women. They see me come into room and it just turns. They turn to ice around me, like cold shoulder cold shoulder, and I'm always so shocked because I don't feel that way about them. I'm just the golden retriever and they're like you know, and I'm like, oh my God, they actually think that about me. So those are my examples. I won't go into overcoming those objections yet with Meta Mindset, but I'm sure you have some of your own that you could share.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you know, I had a person it's funny that thought that I was a fake, thought that I was a scam, because I was always smiling. I never had. This person had done a deep dive into my background and asked a number of people and everyone that she had. I was actually applying to be part of this speakers network and, it's amazing, she was in charge of membership and she said to me I guess I have to let you in, but I don't like you. And I said well, did I do something to offend you? She's like you're too damn happy. And I'm saying to myself you're upset at me because I'm happy.

Speaker 2:

And I asked a friend of mine that knew her he's like Lyman, she's been that way for 20 years. She has run more people away from this speaking organization than people that have joined. And I said well, why do they keep her in a position? Well, she was married to the person who started the company and part of the divorce settlement they had to keep. She had to have a job. So she hates her husband. She's in this job, she hates. And now she's making everyone else like a living hell. And but I've done nothing wrong with to her. I didn't marry her, you know, but that's how she felt, you know oh that's funny because, yeah, you know, but that's how she felt, you know.

Speaker 1:

Oh, that's funny because my husband, Zeka, says the same thing to me and we have a great relationship which involves a lot of humor.

Speaker 1:

That's how our relationship has matured and become. You know, there's a maturity in relationship when you can start using a sense of humor, right, and I'm like, oh honey, he's very serious and he kind of looks at all the practical aspects of life let me just put it that way to the to a fault and I'm on the other side and so I'll be like what can I do to make your day better? And I just want to see you feel joyful and you know, and he'll just be like, oh my god, could you just not be so happy. He's like I want to be grumpy.

Speaker 2:

This is funny. So the other day this is so funny, but the other day I had an eye procedure. You don't have to get eye injections right. And so after I get an eye injection for this retina thing that they're treating, and they changed up the medication, and so by the time I get home I need to just lay down. And so one day my wife and I was watching TV or something and I said to her like a baby, I said I need a huggy, and she looked at me and said a pappas.

Speaker 1:

Like a diaper.

Speaker 2:

That's me, but in my mind I was trying to be cute. I need a hug, you know, for my wife, and I said huggy.

Speaker 1:

And she's like yes, no, that's like something wrong.

Speaker 1:

A grown man needs a pamphlet? Well, and this is a thing, right, because and our clients as well, and we're going to try to stick with life here as opposed to clients. But personality and identity come into, often come into a real space in the conversation, whether it's with a client, or whether it's someone at work, whether it's someone at home, whether it's someone in your social or professional sphere, and you know, you just like I just don't like that person, or you can tell that they're like I just don't like Ann. So you know, we talk about using a focus, meta mindset to find ways to overcome those objections, and I think part of that is what we already talked about a little bit, which was narrow mirroring, but in this sense, in our day-to-day relationships, wouldn't you say?

Speaker 2:

I agree absolutely. There are times where no one can look at you and say you've done anything wrong. All right, but this person is convinced that you are the spawn of Satan. Okay, they don't like you. They don't know why they don't like you. They don't like your energy, they don't like your eye color, they don't like the color of your skin, for whatever reason. Okay, and sometimes we get caught in this vortex of we're trying especially people like that you know that's imperfect like well, why don't you like me? You know, let's talk about it. I don't want to talk, get out my face, you know. And we have to be mature enough, and it comes with maturity of being able to say you know what. You don't like me, that's okay. I don't have any reason not to like you. But I'm not going to create stress, I'm going to remove myself.

Speaker 2:

And sometimes it's hard, yes, it's hard for people to do that, ann.

Speaker 1:

Well, because I think what they forget is what we always talk about. Every episode, I swear, it comes back to this. I don't swear, but which is being an agreement versus being in alignment?

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

So if you have to work, I have someone in my life who will never watch this, who's extremely difficult personality to work with and for geographic and other reasons, I have no other choice. So I don't think they particularly like me. I don't particularly like them. So how do you know, how do we find alignment, since we have to be in a professional environment together on a regular basis, right? How do we find alignment? Even though it's like they say in the UK, did you ever hear that phrase? Chalk and cheese? That's a UK thing. Or you know, oil and water. We tend to say here as like okay, we're oil and water, but we're in the same workplace or we're in the same club or we're there in my family, even harder. Right.

Speaker 1:

So how do I you know, how are ways that I can overcome that?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think you know one of the things and I've had to do this. You kind of set up militarization zone, like you know, during like the Korean War they're like, ok, we had a standstill. So I guess we don't create boundaries, you stay on your side, I stay on my side. So you create these sort of working agreement or boundaries and listen, sometimes over a subject let's say it's over a subject we know we talk about religion, we talk about money is going to get heated. So let's agree that we limit our conversations to anything other than talking about those hotbed politics, money, religion, family matters, things of that nature. Other times it's like you know what, let me know when Susan's going to be there and I show up when she leave, because it's too volatile and sometimes separation is a good thing, it's not a bad thing.

Speaker 2:

It is because you don't want to be in a room where you're fire and they're dynamite. The two don't mix, and then you're going to blow up something.

Speaker 1:

That's excellent. Yes, that's a really good example. No, that's a really good example. So planning, understanding who's going to be in the room when and when you have to be in the same room, um, creating um space with that person.

Speaker 1:

You don't have to. You don't have to try to show them up, because they may want to try to show you up, but if you have a really meta mindset, a warm, genuine approach, where they can't ruffle your feathers but you actually give them a compliment in the boardroom instead, it drives them crazy and it makes them look like a and everyone else is like wow, and it's being really nice about that Lyman is being really nice about that. You can tell that this person over here is being a real pain in the hmm.

Speaker 2:

And people know it, people know.

Speaker 1:

You can feel it, you know, you can feel it.

Speaker 2:

You know, you can feel it, you can cut the tension with a butter knife.

Speaker 1:

And the metamindset is. It has to be genuine, though. It has to be it can't be like oh Linda, you're so right, it can be like Linda. That's a really valued point. Thanks for sharing that with us.

Speaker 2:

And sometimes the alignment and when you were talking, it reminded me sometimes the alignment is what the person is dealing with has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with themselves. So there are times where I will share with someone. I say I almost understand why you feel the way that you feel and you're entitled to feel that. And they kind of look at you and go huh, like, yeah, I kind of understand why you feel what you feel and you have every right to feel. Now that's an invitation for them to say well, how do you know what I feel? Now in a dialogue.

Speaker 1:

Right, right, absolutely. And this is what takes me. This takes me back, and I'm going to have to wrap up because we're just having so much fun and time is flying. But you know, this is taking me back to childhood, right, and going to church school, right. So there's this verse in the Bible that says if your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he's thirsty, give him a drink, for if you do that, you're actually heaping coals of fire on his head.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and it works. You know, one person said kill them with kindness. I want to kill them, I want to redeem them. I always say redeem them with kindness.

Speaker 2:

Bring them back into the fold because apparently something has gone awry in their life and they're just lashing out at you because they're in pain and they don't, a lot of times, are able to communicate, and so you're just there and you become the object of their pain. There's been situations we've coached individuals and where I don't like this person because their smile reminds me of my. You know my father, who was very abusive. Or you know, and you look like my sister, that I can't, or my sister-in-law, I have the example for you.

Speaker 1:

This is for real life. I'm sorry. You were the best candidate for this acting role, but you remind the director of his ex-wife.

Speaker 2:

There you go. What do I have to do? I don't even know who she is, but I have to foot the bill because I sound, remind or did something that was a trigger for that person, that now they hold it against me and all I did was show up and be my authentic self. I've had that happen where someone said, you know, um, yeah, not, you know, lyman, we would work with you. But uh, my partner says, man, you just remind him too much of an uncle that he didn't like, because you're always smiling, you're a big guy and, yeah, I'm like, but I'm not as I don't even know his uncle, and you know what.

Speaker 1:

I always say and as we're wrapping up here, I always say that when you get Sometimes maybe five percent of the time you're given an objection that is so legitimate it's a gift it is. I can't change that producer or director's mind. I can't not look like his ex-wife if that's what he thinks. You can't not look like that uncle. So you're like you know what? I appreciate that. I've run into people in my life that reminded me of someone who was not my favorite person. I absolutely get that. Don't worry about it. But if you ever know someone else who's looking for this kind of world-class service, shoot them my way. I'd really appreciate it, do you?

Speaker 1:

think they'll remember you when you handle that objection that way, right, which is just and it's fun, and you get to be authentic. Okay, we are going to wrap up because we are totally out of time, as always having so much fun here. Thank you all for tuning in to watch or listen on whatever platform you're on today. Please do us a favor help this show keep going. Share this link with someone who you think would enjoy our chats and also like and subscribe on your platform.

Speaker 3:

Absolutely yes.

Speaker 1:

We would really appreciate that. We're so happy you're here with us on Focus Meta Mindstream and check us out every Tuesday for a new streaming episode. Thank you so much, Lyman. Thank you, Anne, have a wonderful day. Thanks everybody. Bye-bye.

Speaker 2:

Take care. Goodbye.

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Handling Objections to Personality and Identity
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