"MetaGagement-HR" with Dr. Lyman Montgomery and Anne Scottlin, MA, CPC
Revolutionizing Employee Engagement with Metagagement: A Conversation with Dr. Lyman Montgomery
Get ready to reignite your passion for HR and employee engagement with us, Anne Scotland and the insightful Dr. Lyman Montgomery. Our latest episode delves into the transformative world of 'Metagagement,' offering you fresh, actionable insights that promise to revolutionize the way you connect with your team. We tackle the nuances of nurturing a diverse, multi-generational workforce that's spread across the globe, providing you with the tools to make work not just a place to go, but an experience that excites.
Embark on a transformative journey as we unveil our new, user-friendly website and discuss the power of outpacing disruptors with a proactive mindset. The episode goes beyond the surface, looking at the individual needs of a varied workforce and championing a human-centric approach that goes above and beyond job titles. Dr. Montgomery and I share our expertise on creating a culture of empathy and recognition, setting the stage for a series of discussions that challenge conventional engagement methods and inspire deeper connections.
Wrapping up the episode, we dissect the art of communication and the delicate balance of work-life integration. Discover how to foster an environment that respects individual communication styles and promotes emotional wellness. We share personal stories and strategies that emphasize mindfulness in managing stress, ensuring that you walk away not only with a transformed professional mindset but also with resonance in your personal life. Tune in for a conversation that's as enriching as it is enlightening.
Get ready to reignite your passion for HR and employee engagement with us, Anne Scotland and the insightful Dr. Lyman Montgomery. Our latest episode delves into the transformative world of 'Metagagement,' offering you fresh, actionable insights that promise to revolutionize the way you connect with your team. We tackle the nuances of nurturing a diverse, multi-generational workforce that's spread across the globe, providing you with the tools to make work not just a place to go, but an experience that excites.
Embark on a transformative journey as we unveil our new, user-friendly website and discuss the power of outpacing disruptors with a proactive mindset. The episode goes beyond the surface, looking at the individual needs of a varied workforce and championing a human-centric approach that goes above and beyond job titles. Dr. Montgomery and I share our expertise on creating a culture of empathy and recognition, setting the stage for a series of discussions that challenge conventional engagement methods and inspire deeper connections.
Wrapping up the episode, we dissect the art of communication and the delicate balance of work-life integration. Discover how to foster an environment that respects individual communication styles and promotes emotional wellness. We share personal stories and strategies that emphasize mindfulness in managing stress, ensuring that you walk away not only with a transformed professional mindset but also with resonance in your personal life. Tune in for a conversation that's as enriching as it is enlightening.
Now you can literally have a global workforce, but you still have to be able to engage them, thus metagage them, so that you can not only get a high, proficient amount of work out of them, but that they enjoy doing what we call empower, engage and excite. We want to bring excitement back into the workforce.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Metagagement, the HR show that dives deep into the heart of employee engagement and workplace culture. Your hosts, Anne Scotland and Dr Lyman Montgomery, bring youa groundbreaking show that explores innovative strategies and insights to transform and elevate your organization's HR practices. Dr Montgomery is an employee engagement expert and best-selling author, while Anne Scotland is an acclaimed business consultant and podcaster. Together, they will unpack the complexities of modern HR challenges and reveal innovative solutions that can be immediately applied to your workplace. Please welcome Anne Scotland and Dr Lyman Montgomery.
Speaker 3:Welcome, welcome back everyone to season two, with Dr Lyman, montgomery and myself, anne Scotland, and we have a great surprise for you. Hopefully you caught our announcement last week. This season our show is called Medi-agagements, and Lyman tell us a little bit about what we're going to be talking about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, the first season was all about mindset, the meta mindset. We wanted you to really think about doing things different, that out-of-the-box thinking. Well, we heard you loud and clear you wanted more application and we want to do something a little different and we wanted to gear this season towards those that really are at the forefront of making sure that people are engaged, and that's the HR field. And so this series, that for this season, is Meta-Engagement. Hr and what Meta-Engagement is think of it this way is the marriage between engaging individuals at work and going beyond, above, out of the box, to get that transformative results. The Meta-Engagement. So I'm so excited about this season, season two. Can you believe it? Season two, it's all about getting metagaged.
Speaker 3:We're already there, and what's really amazing about this new subject and what I'm really excited about is this applies to literally everyone in business and, honestly, everyone in life, because we all work with people, we all work with groups, we all have teams, families, social environments. So there is nothing here that will be wasted on anyone, no matter who you are. But we do this as a special gift to our HR professionals out there, and you know we've been in that field. Lyman's been in the field for I think, 20, 25 years.
Speaker 3:He has books published on it certified in everything you can think of. So we know what we're talking about and we can really bring something special and unique to the HR field. And then the other element that we brought from season one is the concept of what we were calling a meta mindset. So meta in general means to go above and beyond, and in this case we're using those tools, those neuroscience-based solutions that we taught in meta-mindset, in metagagement. How can you take your engagement and re-engagement with your employees to the next level, right Lyman?
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Not only that. But let's say you're an entrepreneur, right? So, yes, we're geared towards the HR profession. But also, if you're an entrepreneur and you have a team, even if it's a volunteer team, you still need to know how do I engage my team? Engage, let's say, you don't have a workforce, but maybe you're dealing with contractors. Let's say you don't have a workforce but maybe you're dealing with contractors. How do you engage contractors, whether in Upwork, Fiverr, to get them to buy into what you're doing? So, again, we didn't forget about the entrepreneurs, but we wanted to focus and target on the HR community. But this is for everyone. If you are an entrepreneur, if you are thinking about starting a business, if you're thinking about building a team, even a sports team, you still need to know how do I engage? Or I, like you said, and re-engage those that may have become disengaged.
Speaker 3:Yes, and I think part of what you and I get excited about and in the fields of neuroscience and business that we've both been involved in is understanding that going meta, as we call it, metamindset engagement.
Speaker 3:It really gives us, and all of you, the possibility of making what we say, making the possible, probable, because we all say wouldn't it be nice, if, wouldn't it be great, if wouldn't it be amazing if all the people on my team or all my people in my company could do this, this, this, and especially when it comes to engagement with each other, with you, with management, with the clients, with everyone.
Speaker 3:So, but just making a wish doesn't make it come true. So we believe that the solutions that are already at work in HR have been some of them tried and true and some of them are still being tried, and some of the initial solutions for those things have worked partly, but maybe not as much as we all would have wished. So we would like to help make the possible probable by taking it to another level.
Speaker 1:So we would like to help make the possible probable by taking it to another level, challenging the status quo, maintaining an open mind, so that we really help transform HR with innovative strategies and actionable steps. You know, you said it beautifully. The only thing that I would add to that, ian, is think about this. During the pandemic, we saw a mass exodus of people leaving the workforce. Post-pandemic, only about 65% of those returned, and the 65% that returned, they returned to a totally new workforce, new scheduling, first time in the history of work.
Speaker 1:What are these remote, hybrid schedules? How do you engage a remote workforce so now you may have a workforce that actually never have met their supervisors outside of a Teams meeting or Zoom call, because now you can literally have a global workforce, but you still have to be able to engage them, thus metagage them, so that you can not only get a high, proficient amount of work out of them, but that they enjoy doing what we call empower, engage and excite. We want to bring excitement back into the workforce. We want people to feel empowered to make decisions and ultimately be engaged in the work that they do, but also and you bring something that I absolutely love and that is beyond what we call on the clock and off the clock. You want to talk a little bit about off the clock.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so basically our show will have two segments. This is a little reminiscent of season one. So segment one of Medi-Gagement is on the clock. This is talking about on the ground, in the office, in your HR field and other business people dealing with similar, whether it's outsourcing or management issues with people. And then part two of our show is going to be called Off the Clock.
Speaker 3:It's that simple and it's really obvious what that means. How do you take the meta engagement principles and what we've taught in MetaMindset, going above and beyond into the rest of your life? How do you deal with those challenges? Because if we learn to deal with the challenges in real life, we're going to be reflecting that when we come into the office and vice versa. So we have a tremendous opportunity, especially in the field of HR, to create an impact locally, nationally, globally, of how we live life and how we interact with other people. So we like to have fun in our off the clock section. We stay appropriate, but we're willing to hash out some of those difficult arguments, those difficult questions that some of you send in. So we're really looking forward to that as well.
Speaker 1:That some of you send in. So we're really looking forward to that as well, and I'm just. You know, there's a lot that we've worked on in between season one and season two. And the other thing that we've done, we got a new website launch. It is streamlined, it is easy to navigate. The last one was okay, but it's a little difficult sometimes to find it. We basically went back to the drawing board, met with our team and said listen, we want to have a simple process that's clean and easy. We even changed the name. You want to talk about that, Ann?
Speaker 3:Well, let's see, I'll let you talk about that.
Speaker 1:I'm ahead of myself.
Speaker 3:I'm ahead of myself. No, so the name of the website. So our URL now is medengagementcom, but if you go to the old URL, you will also still get to the same place.
Speaker 3:So that's the really good news. So we tell a lot of stories on this show. You know we're going to get right to it here in a minute, keeping you on board here. If you would help us as we get off and rolling on second season by following, like, subscribe, shoot this link to someone. This link is always available once it's aired the first time same link to someone who might enjoy this conversation and just hanging out with us for a bit.
Speaker 3:So, with that said, we're going to jump right into our first segment on the clock. One of the things we'd like to talk about doing is outpacing the disruptors, and what that means to me is we're not disrupting the disruptors, because that would be very disruptive. Okay, I know that was terrible. Outpacing the disruptors is we are anticipating the changes in the work environment and the social environment around us to such an extent that we can go meta in applying solutions before we have to wait for new disruptions. So that is a complicated way of saying what we mean when we say outpacing the disruptors as being part of a theme, of the purpose of metagagement, right, lyman?
Speaker 1:Yes, that's absolutely correct. You know there's been a lot of disruption in the workplace. I spoke earlier about the pandemic. We're still in the pandemic, but we're closer to what most will consider post-pandemic, but truly the pandemic is still going. People are still getting COVID, but not thank goodness, not as many people are dying because of COVID, but there are complications. So COVID in and of itself was a disruptor, a major disruptor. For the first time, ann, we have four generations in the workplace. Each generation needs something different. Not only do you have the baby boomers, the XGs or the Gen Xers, I should say, but we got the Millennials as well as the Y, and then they got the what's the new one, I forget.
Speaker 3:I can't keep up with them. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, I mean I get myself messed up too, right? So I think we had Gen X, and then we had Millennials, and then we had Gen Y, which the Millennials are the 30-somethings in the environment. Yes, Very average round number.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 3:Gen Y, gen Z is Gen Z. Are those people breaking into the college environment, right? Now. Right, the workplace for the first time, and then and now we're back to Gen A, I guess, which means the 11 year old generation. But yes, and every one of them has their own dynamic. That is true, and I was just creating a disruption in and of itself.
Speaker 1:Thanks, anne, and one of the things that's important to understand if you find yourself as a, let's say, you're not an HR but you are a supervisor and you might be saying, how do I engage? Because it's differently trying to engage a 21-year-old fresh out of college, a 21, 22, 23-year-old that's fresh out of their, you know, starting their career entry level, and someone that might be a Gen Xer in my population, 50 plus, that we're you, we're looking towards retirement, but then you also have the baby boomers that may be hey, I got another two years, or, matter of fact, a couple of months, and I'm out of here. And so how do you keep everyone not only engaged but what Gallup calls actively engaged and also feel significant in their role? Because each generation needs something different.
Speaker 1:You know, we were the generation that I grew up in, the Gen Xers. We were known as the latchkey kids very high, functioning, independent Sometimes that gets us in trouble not very collaborative, whereas millennials tend to be highly collaborative. They believe in the power of the hive or the tribe. And then you have what many consider to be the Gen Ys as highly technical and they have a much global community. Each one of those needs something different, and what met engagement is all about is seeing each one as an individual and not just a name. On that line and what I mean by on that line is OK, you are a receptionist. No, you're more than just a receptionist, you're a painter. You're more than just a painter. You're a painter. You're more than just a painter. And too often in hrn that's how we view the workforce. You either you either was a number or we identified you by your position title.
Speaker 3:We didn't see you as a person, because you know all the discussions around dei and everything else dive in like nobody's business here soon enough is all about labels, and yet we still keep using these labels to just expect.
Speaker 3:I think, if anything, it creates in our minds an expectation of what a human being is going to be, like I don't care whether it's DEI or if it's just literally their job description the CEO, the receptionist, any person at any level within the company, and as opposed to who the person really is, and that's part of what we are going to be talking about here and some of that's going to be controversial which is addressing the whole human, addressing the whole human in a human way.
Speaker 3:In a human way, we've, in our efforts as a world community to become more inclusive and to accommodate DEI, requirements and advancements, which have been phenomenal. There's also been, like a certain how would I say it Sanitization, oh that's good.
Speaker 3:A workplace that no longer allows us to be spontaneous human beings, to be ourselves, and people are living in a spirit of fear of insulting anyone, of accidentally doing anything, so people pull back. You're not going to get engagement when everyone's pulling back because they're afraid they're going to offend someone else. So how do we reevaluate these situations?
Speaker 1:Oh, that's so good, Ann, that is so good. Oh my God, we got a commercial break coming up in about literally three seconds.
Speaker 3:Well, we'll just do it. So we're going to take a really quick break and if you would, while we're doing that, like subscribe, shoot this link to someone who'd love to join us and we'll be right back.
Speaker 5:Unleash the power of strategic neuroscience with Focused Meta Mindset Inc. Boost your decision-making, sales, sustainable growth and customer engagement. Scan the QR code now for an exclusive consultation. Elevate your profitability with Focused Meta Mindset Inc.
Speaker 3:Welcome back to Metagagement. This is our first episode of the season, super excited. If you missed what we're doing differently, you might want to rewind or jump back to see what we talked about already today. But Metagagement is what engagement and re-engagement looks like in HR. It's a discussion of real-world scenarios in business and in communication, and particularly in HR, and how we can go meta with that. As you know, we've talked about metamindset and that dovetails directly into metagagement, which is how do we go above and beyond? And it's a whole shifting of our inner selves. It's a whole different level of operation of neuroscience-based solutions that we find are very, very effective in the workplace. So as we jump in here to the second piece of our talk today on on the clock, lyman let's talk a little bit about the practical application. What does metagagement look like in real world HR scenarios, for example?
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. You know, metagagement in a very easy to understand, easy to unpack, practical application is simply this you see the people that work with you as human beings and you have to address what's important to them. And it's about a collaborative framework of saying are we in alignment with each other? Here are the goals, the mission, the values of the workforce. Do I have a team that's in alignment with the mission, the values and the principles of the team? Because whenever you have someone that's out of alignment, there's going to be friction, there's going to be pain. Out of alignment, there's going to be friction, there's going to be pain. So what meta-engagement is about is saying if someone is out of alignment, how do we get them realigned? And one way of doing that is by being more relational. I think there's two types of ways of looking at the workforce.
Speaker 1:For too long we were positional what's your ID? What's your ID, what's your job? You ever been on the airplane and you introduce yourself and someone says, generally, as a guy, my name is John, vice President of the Sales. Generally speaking, not always. I've been on many, many flights, like you, ann, and it's interesting. And try this the next time you're in the airport and you're sitting next to someone and you introduce yourself. Generally speaking, when I'm sitting next to a woman, she will introduce herself.
Speaker 1:Hello, my name is Jan. I'm going on vacation to visit my daughter and they start pulling out pictures, showing you pictures. You know their kids. What do guys generally do? They pull out their business card. You know nothing about them other than their position. So I think that translated over into the workforce, where we were highly positional, and now we have a situation where people say no. Now we have a situation where people say no, I'm not just the janitor, I'm not just, you know, the sales or marketing. Treat me as a human being. Do you see me? And the worst thing we can do is say well, I don't see color, I don't see gender, I don't see ethnicity, see ethnicity.
Speaker 3:Then basically you're saying I don't exist. Do you see me Like? That is like that lands on me and you know, in my own background of Hollywood and also in emotional wellness earlier in my career, that idea of completeness of feeling seen and, for many, feeling heard both seen and heard is, for many people, the most valuable element. I've heard people say to me in private consulting or coaching situations I would rather know that I would be heard in my life than to know I was loved.
Speaker 3:That's how important I would rather be really seen for who I am in my life than you know be wealthy because, that's what's really satisfying and important to people, and and I think the example on the airplane is such a good one because, um, sometimes we need to remember that our job as human beings no matter what your role in the company might be is connecting to other human beings, because it's not just for myself, it's not just for you, the other person in the seat, it's not just for my company, it's also for stay with me here how we are in the world together.
Speaker 3:The more we make the world a meaningful place where humans are seen and heard and respected in all their different positions and all their differences, the sooner the workplace becomes more streamlined. As we streamline the workplace, we get to actively affect our culture. Look how much good, bad or indifferent a lot of good Hollywood has influenced the culture in the United States and thus globally in the last you know 100 years. Unbelievable amount of influence. And the norms that often start in screen or with people who are leading the charge in one area or another, often carry out over next into the workplace. And this is where the rubber meets the road, where it goes from principles and concepts to actual governing systems, to actual systems within a company, and from there it drifts down into education and into our families and into our social lives. So when you meet someone on the plane, it's not about comparing business cards. It's always about how can I connect this person as a human being. And you know what I've learned so many times?
Speaker 3:Lyman and I love people, that I talk to everybody, and so do you, I know you do when, um, when I don't come on strong about myself, when I ask them lots of questions, first of all, they almost always turn around and ask me. Then, a few minutes later, they're like oh my God, I've been going on for five minutes, so tell me about yourself and me. Then, a few minutes later, they're like oh my God.
Speaker 3:I've been going on for five minutes. So tell me about yourself. And now they're really listening. When you're just blabbing about yourself at the beginning, they're like oh boy, here goes another one, right. So making those connections and who knows, it could just be a referral, it could just be a friend, but connecting on that human level, that's the difference, that's what's going meta, it's a meta intention. You're not just alive to make a sale. There's a difference.
Speaker 1:You go beyond the big difference and it's about those connecting points. If this is what I would say. Point number two when it comes to how do you meta engage or meta gauge the workforce, to how do you meta-engage or meta-engage the workforce, not only make sure that you see them as a human being, first and foremost. The second part of that is what do you know about them? For example, how do they wish to be communicated? Is it through text message, email, or when the last time you just picked up the phone?
Speaker 3:Oh, lyman, you know that we, certain generations, don't like to use the phone anymore. Oh.
Speaker 1:I know my son that generation.
Speaker 3:My younger cousin who's like don't call me, text me. I don't answer Okay and don't email me because she doesn't even have an email account, she only uses.
Speaker 1:There you go, those different generations, see different generations.
Speaker 3:She has a full-time job.
Speaker 1:I called my oldest son the other day and it said I'm sorry, the number you've called is not in service. So I called his mom and she said oh, he hasn't set up his voicemail. So Cynthia Metella said hey, cameron, dad's trying to reach you. Your voicemail's not set up. Here's the reply. Dad, we don't listen to voicemail Text me.
Speaker 3:That's amazing. Kate's a point Excellent, excellent.
Speaker 1:He made your point Exactly. He's like dad, we don't listen to voicemail, Just text me.
Speaker 3:That is a way of showing appreciation to another person in any environment, which is how they want to be communicated with. Yes, instead of forcing people into now, there's, there's, there has to be systems. So, yes, it can't be completely abstract, but on a personal level or on a casual level, even within the workplace, those little things that show I respect your preferences as a human.
Speaker 1:I think that's the key preference. Maybe I should preface it by saying what's your preferred method of communication? That's probably a better way of saying it. Method of communication that's probably a better way of saying it, because if I understand your preferred method of communication and if I'm only using one method let's say email and I'm dealing with a generation that don't even check emails or let alone voice messages there's going to be friction. But if I establish an expectation listen, I understand you prefer text messages.
Speaker 1:However, the culture is, let's say, email, but what I will do is let's get a group text and I send out an email, but also a text, because if I need something quick and I understand you may respond quicker to a text than having to go through 100 to 200 emails trying to figure out you know what part, especially in these long email threads where you got 15, 20 people saying me too, me too, yes, and you can get lost. So I understand that. The last point that I would say how do you make it practical? Number one make sure that you see them as human beings. Number two ask their preferred method of communication. And third, and this is perhaps the most important, ann, and that is give them grace, give grace.
Speaker 1:Too often we want people to be like us. How come you can't be like john? Because I'm not john, I'm lying. So give grace, set the expectations, but understand. People need room to grow. If you take a plant and you stifle, one person told me, if you take a fish and you put a fish that used to have been in a large pond in a little tiny bowl, guess what would happen. It will only grow in proportion to the bowl. But if you take that fish and put it in an aquarium, it will grow in proportion to the aquarium aquarium. It will grow in proportion to the aquarium. Now imagine what happens if you take that fish that, dna-wise, is used to being in a lake or ocean. You put that thing in a pond. Guess what it will grow proportion to the pond. What am I saying? The more room and space that you give people and you allow them to make mistakes, learn from the mistakes, correct the mistakes, the more they will grow and succeed.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, and and the more we we get to benefit from the inherent skill and wisdom and talent of people, that by letting them expand beyond the cookie cutter, right, expanding beyond the cookie cutter. I'll use an example of neurodivergent professionals, or what I like to call neuroconvergent, because that's what we all are.
Speaker 3:We can't all have something. We all are just human. But the coming together, allowing people who have different and unusual behaviors to help us take our businesses to the next level because they excel so tremendously in a particular area, and respecting that social intelligence versus just academic, academic certification Massively important Doesn't mean that one is better than the other. It just means that there are benefits to both. If you have a whole bunch of one kind of person, you're going to have a very lopsided team, and we're not going to go into this today. We have a whole assessment that we've designed to help share with you about that as well. So, yes, I agree, really keeping people inclusive, being gracious, being generous, I think more than anything.
Speaker 3:Being generous is such an amazing opportunity as a human being, and especially in the workplace, because that's where people tend to think about fairness as opposed to generosity.
Speaker 3:Now you can't have one person being generous and the other nine just wanting to be fair, because it doesn't work well. But if you can get nine people who are willing to be a generous human being in their environment and one person who's going to be a dissident, no matter what, you still have really changed your environment. So being generous, I think, is the greatest. It's the greatest gift we have as human beings, the greatest opportunity. Well, hey, I think we're already to our second commercial break, where we're going to be gone just for a tiny few seconds here and then we're going to come back and jump into our very last segment for the day, which is off the clock how does meta-engagement, how does meta-mindset work in the real world when we go home, when we leave the office, when we go out with the team in the evening? Let's see how that works. All right, please like and subscribe. Keep this coming. We love you guys. And send us your questions to our email or go to the website metagagementcom. We'll be right back.
Speaker 4:Unleash the power of focused meta mindset lunch and learn sessions. Sharpen problem solving skills, spark innovation, foster collaboration and build adaptability and resilience. Elevate your team's success and profits. Discover more at wwwfocusmetamindsetcom.
Speaker 3:Welcome back to our last segment of Today on Metagagement, our first episode of this new season, where we're talking about how engagement and re-engagement can be taken to the next level in HR and in all of our human relationships, including the off-the-clock relationships. Right Lyman.
Speaker 1:Off-the-clock and that's something that we were very intentional about is understanding. When people leave work and this is where I've said corporation businesses, especially within DEI HR, the C-suite is a little schizophrenic. We will say things like this Ann, whatever happened at home, leave it at the doorstep when you enter the workplace. Now that makes a lot of sense. The problem is, should that also work when I leave work? That I should leave work at work so when I get home I can medigage my family Right, help us out in.
Speaker 3:Well, you know, I think this is the whole thing about. You know, work-life balance is out the window. It's no longer relevant. Then, a couple of years ago, we were all on work-life integration because it made more sense in a post-COVID environment, and now it's more about we're a whole person wherever we are. Many of us are working remotely not all, but many people do and where we're, even the environment is still home when we're home. So we have to start looking at the whole person.
Speaker 3:And if you're coming to an office, you are bringing what you have at home with you. The stresses of the day doesn't mean you have to share every intimate detail with everyone in your office space, but it also means that we need to take account of you in your humanity. You're not just a number, you're not just a cookie cutter, you're not just a badge. You're a human who has all these different elements. And I think again, the richness of what we offer to each other as human beings is by including ourselves in a bigger space, finding out what connects us. One of the things I always say you know off the clock not on the clock too, but off the clock is what do you have in common as opposed to what are you? What's different? About you.
Speaker 3:We tend to use our eyes, and sometimes our ears, to instantly judge differences. It is the human nature, it's even part of the animal kingdom. There is, you know, a noticing that goes on right. We do see. You can't pretend not to see certain things. I mean, we have, you know, we have phrases that say you don't see color and this and that and the other, but those have a different meaning. So, we do see, we see what we see. But the question is um, how do we connect in a real way without just creating that judgment? How do we create open? How do we go meta in line at the grocery store? How do we go meta with the next door neighbor who really makes us crazy? Um, you know, I could give a whole litany of stories about a next door neighbor of mine who was driving the whole neighborhood absolutely crazy. The homeowners association wanted to get them to move out and they couldn't. If anyone's ever lived in a homeowners association, you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3:But I see every one of these opportunities is great because it's an out of the office experience to practice the same way of being. We are the same person. So how can we apply these tools outside? And I'm sure you have your own stories.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know we were talking about that and it reminded me again how the workplace has become this sort of revolving door of craziness, okay, and disharmony. And yet we say we value diversity, we value equity, we value diversions of thought you know diversity of thought but yet in practice we do the opposite. When we get home. But yet in practice we do the opposite. When we get home, for example, we will be more tolerant of an employee and get home and have zero patience for family members, for friends, and we use the excuse I'm sorry, I'm busy, I have work to do, work to do. And I think part of the problem is is that we're just now starting to talk about taking time to decompress before you go into the home, sitting in your car and just relaxing, maybe taking a different route, take the longer route home If you know that you're going to be irritated taking the expressway and stuck in traffic. What if you took the scenic route to give you that time mentally to decompress so when you get home you can be there and show up as a full, attentive, in-the-moment person? What if we also did that? Going to work? What if we decompress before we get in the office?
Speaker 1:We know we got a lot of work to do. Are we getting up early enough? Are we rushing? You know when I used to go into the office and if I got up late it seemed like my entire day was I was behind. I couldn't find my keys, I couldn't find my glasses. It seems like you know I got behind. Every car was doing 20 miles an hour, I hit every light, and so when I finally got to the office, it took me literally like 20 or 30 minutes to get my straight. Have you experienced that? I know you had in California.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I was thinking. All those, all those freeway illustrations is like the 405, the one on a freeway, yeah, if you want to like really lose your mind, yeah, and I think there's a compounding effect you know, so from a neuroscience perspective as well.
Speaker 3:There's there's the element of we tend to see something go wrong and once we're thrown off that curve, it's like walking with, we're driving with one flat tire. No matter what you do, it feels like you just careen off into the same direction, and that's the opportunity we have to bring it around. I had one of those days just this week where I mean, like I don't know I was late. I had I had to drop off the dogs at grooming. I didn't have a lunch packed and I'm trying to eat really healthy this month and then at the very last minute I lost my keys because someone had borrowed them. At the very last minute I lost my keys because someone had borrowed them and I was then 20 minutes late just leaving, and then I had the address in my calendar wrong for the groomers who I'd never gone to before. So I went to the wrong one and my day just kept going like this. I was just like okay.
Speaker 3:So by the time I got to work, I was just so, I had to just be smart For me. Charging straight into my workload or in the reverse, I was just so, I had to just be smart. For me, charging straight into my workload or in the reverse if I was coming home is not going to do anyone any favor, you know. It's, it's part of that emotional wellness. That is things that we should teach ourselves to do in all aspects of our life in work, at home, taking three slow, deep breaths, just getting a grip with yourself. And I was going to say that is something you made me think of earlier, which was, you know, how do we come into our home in the afternoon, the evening, whenever that is, and how do we really see and be present with the people there? How are you seeing and being present with yourself?
Speaker 1:That is awesome.
Speaker 3:Every work that we do begins with us internally, and if you're nice to people at work and rude to people at home, it's because you haven't made personal growth. You're only doing it at work, so you don't get fired, right.
Speaker 1:That is true. I've seen people literally do that. Where they put on airs Right, they put on this mask, especially because we are the policy holders Right or enforcers, the policy police. One person said and so if we're talking about a respectful workplace and we get irritated and we fly off the handle, then we're not being true to ourselves. But the truth of the matter is we get upset as HR, we get angry. We just aren't allowed to do it in public. So you have to have that restroom stall break where you go in there and you literally just as you mentioned, three deep what I'm doing for those who are listening breathe in through your nose, swallow, count to four and then exhale. And it's amazing when you allow the oxygen, your blood to get oxygenated. Sometimes it's literally saying, hey, I need to go take a break and go outside and get some fresh air, because if all you're doing to your point is charging full steam ahead, you're going to knock people over.
Speaker 3:You're going to crash at some point. You're going to crash and if you have a gym in your company, maybe go take some time out on the bag, whatever, because we have also created our own issues for another day, totally different topic of internalizing all of the physical, emotional, psychological and physical pressure that we experienced both at home and in the workplace. Without creating enough physical cleansing, enough outlets to get that out, you can't stand up on the table and scream and yell at people at work, but how are you supposed to get that? You know anger out of your body, for example. So there's so many ways that we can help people just live healthier and by the whole person at home, every environment, on the plane, at the gym, wherever you are, at the post office and at work, helping us all shift.
Speaker 1:Here's something that my wife and I, especially, we've had like a tough day. You know clients don't show up that happens or you're dealing with some bad news and you know you have to go into a meeting, a staff meeting, and you just got some horrible news. Whether it's a good friend, a family member might be sick or may have passed away, and you cannot break down because, literally, you're going into a meeting how do you deal with that? And also, coming home, something that my wife and I have put into practice, and that's this For my wife, she needs about 30 minutes of me time. All right, for me I need about 15 minutes. I need that much. But you've got to give each other space, because if I come on from work or come out because I work remotely if I come out of my office and I say, honey, you won't believe blah, blah, blah blah.
Speaker 1:And I have not given her that opportunity to decompress and give her 30 minutes of alone time. It is going to be a very intense conversation and feelings get hurt, and so you have to give each other I don't know about you and John, you kind of have that same sort of you know what is that, you know space, give each other space, be gracious with that, because even if it's real important, I will say hey, it's a good time to talk. The other thing that I highly recommend is my wife and I we've set up weekly touch base meetings. We're on Sundays. We get together and we talk about the week. We plan the week, so it gives us an opportunity to reconnect week. We plan the week, so it gives us an opportunity to reconnect. Now I think it's very helpful and I get your opinion on this that people set up standing meetings, or maybe not call them meetings, but touch points Maybe that's a better word touch point Because I don't want people to say, boy, you sound corporate, you got to meet with your wife.
Speaker 3:No, but I think touch points. I think that's a really, really good. It's actually a really good topic for on the clock and off the clock, and we might even want to come back to that next week or in a future episode. We're already out of time today. This is just flown by. We're so glad you joined us here for on the clock, off the clock, talking about meta-engagement, meta-mindset, how we can take it to the next level, how we can anticipate trends and find workable solutions.
Speaker 3:I hope you will come back next week. So our new broadcast time is the same day, always on Fridays, but now it's going to be Friday at 11 am Eastern, that's 8 am Pacific time, right here, on whatever platform you're watching now, if you would please subscribe and like and tell us what you think, shoot us an email on our website or scrolling here in the notes today and just tell us what your questions might be as well. So we'd love to hear, get your feedback as we go forward and we can't wait. We're already getting the next episode ready, so can't wait to talk to you then. Any closing thoughts, lyman?
Speaker 1:Go get Medi-Gaged.
Speaker 3:I love. It All right, thanks everybody, cheers. We'll see you next time. Take care. Bye-bye it all right, thanks everybody, cheers. We'll see you next time.